Trust

I have been stressing myself out over a couple of work related things coming up tomorrow and Monday. I know what you may be thinking- Sarah? Stress? No way! But unfortunately, it's true. In fact, so true, that I have slowly started allowing it to impact my relationships. I'm more irritable (yes, it's possible), and it seems like my empathy is lower than my father's (sorry, love you Dad).

I know this is not how the Lord intended my heart to be! When I take a closer look, I realize it is a direct reflection of the lack of time I spend with Him. I can't love like the Lord if I am not allowing his hand, his love, to shape my heart daily. And I haven't been allowing him. I have been looking to other things to de-stress me (For those of you who were unaware, yes, it is possible for Hulu to ask you if you'd like to take a break from watching.).

Recently, however, my mom gave me some devotional CDs to listen to in the car. Then Klove quoted an old devotional book that I haven't picked up in a while. So tonight, instead of reading the work material I brought home, I opened up the devotional to today's date.

And wouldn't you know it, it's all about finding peace in God! Sarah Young writes daily letters as if they are to us from God. In it she writes, "You know this day will bring difficulties, and you are trying to think your way through those trials." It is ridiculous how often I try to think my way through trials ahead of time. As if that is the only way I can overcome them. As if that gives me the edge!

But ultimately, thinking of what is ahead causes me to forget that God is with me now.

Sarah Young also says, "Rehearsing your troubles results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur." This might be obvious to some of you, but reading it that way was so overwhelming for me. I am choosing to live my trials more than once. What? Seriously, how ridiculous.

That is not the life God intends for me; for anyone. He wants us to relax in his peace. He wants to transform our fear into trust. Because that's really what it comes down to, isn't it? Trust. If we trust in his plan, the trial isn't something to fear. But if we are rooting for our own plan, fear can take hold of us. So I'm choosing to trust. And to pray that God will change my plans for my life to mirror his.