Relational Spirituality

I have been ridiculously blessed with the best family and friends a girl could ask for. I know I have said this before, but I can't help but write about it again. I love the people God has placed in my life. I am so grateful for them and for what they add to my life.


I am thankful for the way they love me, challenge me, stretch me, and walk beside me.

I am currently writing a paper on the different facets of spirituality (but taking a break to write this blog...procrastination at its finest) based on Kenneth Boa's book Conformed to His Image. One of the facets of spirituality he talks about is Relational Spirituality. Essentially, this is found from loving God completely, ourselves correctly, and others compassionately. Boa says, “…we are called to a lifestyle of growing others-centeredness and diminishing self-centeredness as Christ increases and we decrease." If we love God completely, he will teach us how to love ourselves correctly. 

Loving ourselves correctly allows us to love others out of the overflow and not because we require something from them- such as acceptance or in an attempt to overcome feelings of loneliness or insignificance. 

I can't help but think of what a beautiful relationship that would create- to love others out of the overflow. To see myself correctly and therefore love others more compassionately. And it all starts with loving God completely. 

What would that look like in your life? To love God completely? What is competing with God for your heart? It is an easy question for me to answer, and a scary one for me to act on. But necessary. So necessary. Because God has blessed me with special people in my life. And I want to love them compassionately, not selfishly. Don't you?

Words of my mouth, meditation of my heart

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, o Lord, my rock and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14

The first part is easier, when I'm trying. Regardless of what is going on in my life, or in my heart, it has always been easy for me to come up with the right words to say. But that doesn't mean the words that leave my lips come from my heart.

Growing up, going to Sunday School as the Pastor's daughter, I learned early on that I needed to know the right words that would be acceptable to God- but mostly to my Sunday School teachers. I was the Pastor's daughter, after all. I learned the power of words. Words of affirmation can bring hope to a hurting friend. Words of truth can change a life. The words of Jesus can transform a world.

Words can also mask the truth. They can paint a picture of perfection or growth on the outside that doesn't quite line up with the inside.

I 've been using words as a mask. I speak words that I know are acceptable in God's sight- words that paint a picture of a strong young woman putting her relationship with God before all else. Words that show I am fine, healthy, growing. Words that I have believed people want to and should hear.

It's hard to be vulnerable. To speak from my heart, when I am confident that what is inside is too messy to be acceptable in my family or friend's sight, let alone God's.

The meditation of my heart. Words can mask. But if I take a look at the meditation of my heart, it reveals truth. And the truth I see right now is messy. It's easy to try and ignore the mess. To believe that if the words are right, it will eventually clean up the mess. But it won't. Words can't. God can.

God is my rock and my redeemer. It's a beautiful way to end that verse. Because the only way the words from our mouths and meditations of our hearts can be pleasing to God, is if he truly is our redeemer.

My words and my heart weren't lining up, because I wasn't allowing God in. I was so focused on cleaning up the mess by performing better at my job, being a better sister, daughter and friend. It pushed my desire to let Jesus live through me to the side, as I instead strived to do it on my own.

My sister recently sent me a text asking how I was, I replied with the normal, "fine how are you?" She responded by asking how I actually was. She went on to say that she had just heard a sermon on support and encouragement and realized she couldn't give that to me if she didn't know what areas I needed prayer and support in.

My dad preached about messes this past Sunday (he always seems to have impeccable timing..or maybe it's just that he does an exceptional job letting Jesus live through him). He said, "[Jesus] dives head-first into our mess. Not because He loves our mess, but because He loves you and He loves transforming the mess into glory."

So, I think it's safe to say God is trying to get my attention. He has placed such strong, supportive people in my life whom I love dearly. People who don't want me to use words as a mask, but to use them as a way to reveal where I need prayer. And I can use words to do the same for them. How's that for acceptable in God's sight?

And God, well he loves transforming mess into glory. So with his help, I'm well on my way to the meditation, and well, the shape of my heart to be something pleasing in his sight. It's going to be a beautifully messy journey.

Sweeter Than Honey

I love food. This past weekend my grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and my dear friend Jessica got married (I got way more out of it than good food though, I promise). At the wedding, there was a beautiful cookie table (thank you, Pittsburgh traditions). I got full off of every kind of cookie before the main course was even served (but that didn't stop me from getting a full plate). Then I flew to my grandparents wedding anniversary were there was a fun photo booth, a dance floor, and food. I think I was in line for seconds before some people even finished round one.

Then yesterday I spent part of my day off grocery shopping at the Target store in downtown Pittsburgh. They have an expanded grocery section and I was in heaven. I bought way more than I needed. While shopping I sent a text to my mom because I was that excited.

Today while I was washing dishes in my kitchen, I read the verse I so appropriately put over my sink:


"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!" Psalm 119:103

I don't remember the last time I tasted the word of God or compared it to honey. Yet I can describe in detail the last dessert I ordered while out to dinner at Red Robin (which was a while ago, Jess and I have kicked the habit to those of you who were wondering). That's pretty pathetic. I guess I've been pretty complacent with my time in the word, allowing it to grow stale. That's not how I want the living word of God to taste!

When is the last time you compared God's words to the sweet taste of [insert favorite dessert here]? I don't know about you, but I plan to read the bible with a greater appreciation and expectation tonight. I want what David had- a sweet taste of my God and his words on my lips!

Set Your Mind on Him

Question number 2: What is my mind set on?

"For to set the mind on flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace." Romans 8:6

As I was reading more of Sarah Young's daily devotional, there was a day focused on what our mind is most often set on. In it, she gave a challenge for me to ask His Spirit to control my mind, so that I can think great thoughts of Him.

Both the verse in Romans and that challenge stayed with me. Put so simply, yet so powerful if I actually put it into practice. It's no secret; my mind is often set on and consumed by flesh. It's pretty intense for that to be compared to death...but it's so true! This past year, in many ways, has been like death for me. Pittsburgh has been a trial, and I responded by setting my mind on work rather than my relationship with the Lord. That has caused my heart to often be void of the heavenly peace and feelings of eternal joy that I so treasure. My mind needs to be set on the Spirit!

My first thought is, but that's too hard! But Romans 8 gives me hope- it is possible. The Holy Spirit can control my mind! But, am I willing to give up control? Am I willing to set my mind fully on the Spirit and trust that he will lead me in the right direction? Because if I set my mind on Him, there isn't room to worry about what direction I'm heading and whether or not I'll like it. There isn't room to worry about if or how I'll make it through this current trial. There isn't room for me to try and fit my agenda into God's. There's only room for Him. 

Set my mind on the Spirit- and only one thing will be necessary. Jesus. 

What is your mind set on? Your job? Your family? A failing relationship? A current trial? Look to Jesus. Set your mind, your heart, your eyes on him and he will lead you. I encourage you to pray, along with me, that the Holy Spirit will take control of our minds, our hearts. May our thoughts be set on him!

Cease Striving

There are two themes that seem to continue to show up in my quiet times with God recently. The verses I have sifted through and devotions I have been reading all lead me to ask myself the same two questions:

1. What am I striving for?
2. What is my mind set on?

So, to address number one:

I hear God telling me, "Cease striving! Be still, know that I am God!" I hear him telling me to quit guessing his agenda or creating my own but to trust that his plans are good. Yet I still strive for my own agenda. I try to fit my plans into God's, as if my ideas are actually better! How often do we do that?

While reading a devotional my parents gave me by Sarah Young, I was reminded and convicted of the one thing to be striving for. Two verses really hit me:

The first, "Seek the Lord and his strength. Seek his presence continually." Psalm 105:4

The second (I added my name, more dramatic that way), "Sarah, Sarah you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. They have chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from them." Luke 10:41-42

Only one thing is necessary. Most often, I have chosen everything but the one thing. Each time, it has led me down a path of anxiousness, uncertainty, fear, fleeting joy, depression. It is a path filled with constant striving. Burdens aren't lifted for more than mere moments. So why do we keep choosing it? I want to choose the good portion- the portion that won't be taken from me. In order for that to be true, I know I need to seek the Lord- only the Lord and his strength. That means I can't seek after a husband, the perfect job, a new city, more things. If I am choosing the good portion, then I am choosing to seek His presence continually.

Sometimes just thinking about that choice overwhelms me. It is too easy for the one thing that is necessary to become the 2, 4, 10 things that mistakenly feel necessary. I don't want to be troubled and anxious about many things, I want the one thing. The good portion.

In Sarah Young's devotional, she said this is what God is asking of us,"Come to me with an open mind and heart, inviting me to plant my desires within you." When I think about it that way, it's a little less daunting to pick the one thing. I just have to let God do the work, give over the reins, and he will do the planting. He will foster a desire for the one thing. Will you let him?

God (Good) Plans for 2012

I don't really make a habit out of writing new year resolutions. Mostly because I do a horrible job of keeping them. I do however, find ringing in the new year a perfect time to make a list of all the things I am thankful for.

 Last summer, our family went to St. Croix. We spent most nights on a second level deck, looking at all of the stars. One of the nights, our parents asked us to talk about 1-2 characteristics or values that we felt defined our family, or that we thought our parents tried to instil in us. One of the main values we talked about was gratitude. While I don't always model this, I can see how much importance my parents put in having an attitude of gratitude. Hence, the gratitude list of 2011! Not a comprehensive list, but just some of the highlights (in no particular order):

 Spending a long weekend in Minnesota with Katy, Jake, and Josh. So thankful for the time we get to spend together ...(especially now that we are a little older, more mature, and not in competition with each other 100% of the time) I love them!

Visiting Betsy in Miami with Lauren. It was wonderful to see where Betsy lives and the friends she has made and to spend some quality time with dear friends.

 Going to Saint Croix with my family. With Katy and Jake in Minnesota and me in Pittsburgh, we are limited in our family time. It was so great to spend a week with them, especially on a beautiful island! I have been blessed with a sometimes borderline insane, wonderful, hilarious family. 




Finding a small group in Pittsburgh. It's not easy to balance a crazy workload and a social life, and I am so thankful that God brought me to a wonderful group of people wanting to find fellowship and learn more about God.

Starting off the year watching my bible study girls grow, cry, laugh, and be vulnerable with each other at Leadership Advance. Then continuing to watch them grow in their friendships as God became not only present, but foundational in their relationships with each other. Ending the year hearing all the things God is teaching them as Freshmen in college! I have loved seeing them grow into beautiful young women of God who are going to touch the lives of many and do much for the kingdom of God!

 Time spent with my friends. Most often, due to weddings, I have really appreciated the time I have been given to catch up with this wonderful group of people!

Time spent at home during Christmas. With the craziness of retail, it is really easy to get caught up in work and long hours. Even though it didn't feel like a lot, I really enjoyed and treasured the time I was able to spend at 1197 with friends and family! What a perfect way to end the year.

 Finally, I am so thankful that God is walking into yet another new year with me. This past year was a challenging one. It was a year filled with God stretching me and with me often refusing to be stretched. It was filled with tears, hope, frustration, doubt, anxiousness, joy, and blessings I sometimes almost missed. I still have a lot to learn. I still have a lot of growing. I still struggle with fear and uncertainty about what is to come. But I am thankful that going into 2012, I am choosing to hand that over to God. I may not know what is in store this next year, but God does. He knows the plans he has for me, and they are GOOD. He knows the plans he has for you and they are GOOD plans. So as you make plans for 2012, with or without resolutions, carve in some time with our creator. Find fullness of joy in his presence, be still, cease striving, know that He is God. Take time to thank him, for the year we just finished, the year ahead, and the fact that through it all, he has had a plan, and he has not left our side!