In January I started a one year Bible reading plan. Each day I read some of the Old Testament, some of the New Testament, a Psalm and a Proverb. Currently, I am reading through Leviticus. I always used to get frustrated reading through this book because I felt like all it contained was a bunch of intense rules that no longer apply. I also, at times, couldn't believe that God really required some of those laws of his people. God really convicted me of that this time around. While it's still hard to read through it, my view has altered.
First, my view of God in this book has changed dramatically. The reason I feel the rules are so intense is because I'm not truly appreciating and recognizing the majesty and holiness of the God I serve. I sometimes get so caught up in God as my Father and God as my friend that I forget the sovereignty of God. I forget to be in complete awe of him. I am not jealous of the Israelites and all of the sacrifices and laws they needed to follow in order to enter into a relationship with God, but I do think I need to practice viewing God the way they did a little more often.
I was also convicted of how little joy and gratitude I feel towards Jesus when reading this book. Jesus is the reason we don't have to follow the old traditions! And rather than reading through this book with a thankful heart, I read it with a disgusted heart. I couldn't get past the animal killing, blood splattering, and complete condemnation of all sins that often resulted in death or being outcasted from the community. Again, that all goes back to my lack of recognizing the holiness of God. I was so convicted of the state of my heart reading through this. Ultimately, it caused me to think through what I am willing to do in order to be in a relationship with my Creator.
The Israelites, while far from perfect, were willing to follow these laws in order to worship their God. While I know some of the acts were common during those times, I'm sure it was not easy to follow the steps of sacrificing every time you disrespected your parents or touched an unclean animal. It would have been a lot easier to live a mediocre life apart from God. But they didn't (most of the time). It is so much easier now to enter into a relationship with God. And how do I show my gratitude? By indulging in the worldly things that I desire and asking for forgiveness later. By holding on to the things that I have deemed precious rather than giving it all up to God. Shouldn't the fact that God has bridged the gap cause me to want to live all the more passionately for Him?
As I was in the process of sifting through all of this, I listened to one of my Dad's sermons entitled, Total Abandon. Perfect timing, God. In it he talked about carrying the cross, the very symbol of the new relationship God made possible for us through Jesus. He asked, "What is the cost of the cross for you?" What is God asking me to abandon in order to carry my cross and follow him?
I'm not sure of the answer yet. But I know it involves carrying the cross daily rather than whenever I feel like it. So while I pray about what Jesus is asking me to abandon, I am also going to pray for an increasingly clearer picture of who God is. I don't want to focus on the sides that are easier to take in (i.e. the forgiving father). I want a complete picture of my God that brings me to my knees every time. So thank you, Leviticus for providing a picture of the majesty and holiness of the God we serve!
